


Melancholy With a Touch of Humour

by Pyx



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Eventual Smut, F/M, It's gonna be slow, No use of y/n, Slow Burn, Tagging stuff is hard, Timeline What Timeline, but also v soft, it's just gonna be bit, listen, of their feelings, reader goes by M, reader is a badass, the reader is a former mandalorian, they're gonna bang, touch starved, two bros battling depression five feet apart cuz they're scared, yodito goes by Bean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:27:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23388118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyx/pseuds/Pyx
Summary: You removed your helmet after the Great Purge and you regret the decision. But you come into the employ of another Mandalorian and slowly you learn that what you do is not indicative of who you are. And maybe you fall in love in the process.
Relationships: The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)/Original Female Character(s), The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)/Reader, The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)/You
Comments: 9
Kudos: 46





	1. Prologue

It's been two months. It isn't like it's been a very long time, but it's felt like a long time. You try to remind yourself of the reasons you've chosen this path. Recite why every day, every night, every moment of doubt. A constant reminder of the decision that flipped your entire life upside down. Your decision of a betrayal to yourself, your people, your very existence.

Your chest clenches in agony with every thought you have of your former life, of the person you used to be and can never be again.

You've never learned to school your expressions because you have never had to. You have never learned how to meld into normal society because you'd had your own.

Your Creed.

Your heart clenches again with the thought.

The choice is to either forget or accept. Forget the people who raised you, who loved you, and who cherished you. Or accept that the decision you've made and try to move on with your life. Forgetting means committing another sin. Accepting means heartbreak. No matter which way you think about it, it hurts.

You've thought about both options for two months. And for two months you've been tearing yourself apart. It's best to just accept that you'll never again be a Mandalorian.


	2. Listen, I'm a Mess

Apparently, people really seem to care that you're a woman.

With armour, it's a non-issue. It was always worn to be functional, not alluring. So it's weird when people eyeball your curves and breasts and ass. It's weird. And it shows on your face every time.

_Remember, they can see you now._

But doesn't stop your eyes from widening and your lips from pulling in disgust when men make lewd gestures at your body. You were never much for words. Most Mandalorians aren't. So, you're more into non-verbal communication.

Well, you're sitting in a cantina, minding your own business, learning how to eat while there are other people around, when some guy approaches you. He says hi and your bump up your eyebrows to say, "yeah, you're definitely standing there." But ultimately, you only care about your food.

He takes that as an invitation and sits at your table with you and you roll your eyes, forgetting _right, he can see me_. But who cares. He starts talking about...something, but you're too concerned with food to pay attention. Plus, it's crunchy, so this conversation is pretty much this stranger speaking to an eating chair.

At one point, he asks you a question and you roll your eyes again and pointedly say _no_. And this kriffing asshole _laughs_. You're startled of course when he touches your hand and tries to take your fork away from you, because why would he do that other than using it to kill you? Or worse, try to steal your food.

You do what any reasonable person would do. You stab him in the hand with the fork and continue eating with your hands. You're still hungry and he's not going to try stealing your meal again. He screams, predictably, and pulls the fork out of his hand. Blood splatters to the table and you move your food out of the way.

_People are staring._

Let them. He approached you and this has nothing to do with them. Besides Tatooine has a lot it needs to worry about that you aren't involved in. You can't think of anything specific right now, because food.

You finish your meal and when you look up, the bleeding man is gone, but his blood is still there. You grimace and throw some amount of credits on the table and you go to leave, feeling eyes on you from all angles. The tension in the room leaves a lot to be desired. Probably because you stabbed that guy. But that’s how you’ve lived your entire life.

As you leave, something catches your eye and you stop in the open doorway and turn around. There he is. Dressed in gleaming, new beskar, a Mandalorian. He stares right back and you can tell he's trying to figure you out. He is unmoving, but you’ve spent your entire life reading everyone based simply on body language. And you’re trying to figure him out right back.

Accept or forget. Forget or accept.

You choose neither and nod your head at him, hoping he'll follow you out. You have no idea what your face looks like right now, but you hope it's somewhere between kind and inviting, instead of horrified and meek, like you feel. You leave and you hear the doors at your back whoosh shut.

You stroll around for a bit, taking in the sunshine and soft sands, just enjoying the day. And totally ignoring the jitters and shakes in your chest. _Those don't exist._

You're patient. You know it could take the other Mandalorian up to a couple of days to contact you. You're prepared to wait a week if you need to. A month even. However long it takes, you're willing to wait as long as necessary.

"Who are you?"

_Barely a few minutes it seems._

You're immediately soothed by the way their voice sounds behind the helm. It sounds like home, but also gruffer and sadder. You square your shoulder and turn to look at him. The T-shaped visor makes your stomach clench and you're reminded of your decision and a wave of nausea crashes over you and you think for a brief, terrifying moment that you're going to vomit. And only through sheer will do you manage to keep your lunch down.

Your mouth opens and a word comes out and not puke, so that's always good. But whatever you said makes him reel back in shock and you feel the immediate urge to want to reach out, but instead you clench your fists and stare at him.

"You're a Mandalorian." He says and that sadness in his voice is louder now and you can see in his posture that he's judging you and that makes you shake your head.

"No." Is all you can say back. _No, not a Mandalorian. No, don't look at me like that._ You want to plead with him, beg him to not look at you like that. Tell him that your decision was worth it. But the words lodge in your throat and you stare at him helplessly, hopelessly. Your decision may not have been worth it. It may have been a very poor decision and you still run it through your mind like somehow you'll be able to convince yourself that what you had done was right for you.

He tilts his head and you suck in a deep breath, waiting for him to judge you. But it never comes. "The Purge." Is all he says and a wave of sadness washes over you and your throat is thick as you think of your dead family and lost friends.

His shoulders droop and he understands immediately and the judgement is gone, replaced with sympathy. He takes two steps towards you and you feel comforted, knowing he's accepted you for who you are. He inclines his head towards you and you feel oh so slightly vindicated in your decision.

But you still feel like you've betrayed your Way.

It must show on your face, of course it does, because he shakes his head. "Armour does not make a warrior."

Your heart is pounding painfully in your chest and you’re filled with a _feeling_. And you scoff and roll your eyes because, _no, you’re not a warrior anymore_. But your emotions are all still perfectly visible on your face and in your posture and he shakes his head.

“What do you go by?” He asks and you think about it. No one’s really asked your name and it doesn’t make any sense for you to go by the name your dead parents gave you.

“M.” You say. For Mandalore.

He nods his head like he knows that’s the reason why even though there’s no way he figured it out on his own. But that’s just like a Mandalorian and you shake your head fondly.

“Where are you heading?” He asks and you think. You have no real destinations in mind, no family to try to find, no friends, no prospects, no home, nothing. You’re all alone and there’s no one in the Galaxy who would take you in again now that you’ve betrayed your people and that makes you a bad person and you’re bad and alone and you deserve it.

You shrug. “Meh.”

He regards you for a moment, having seen every poor emotion flit across your face. "Come with me."

Your heart aches thinking about being in the comfort of another Mandalorian again and you think about how it would only serve as a constant reminder of how you had betrayed your people. Or maybe this opportunity would serve as a redemption. But that would mean abusing your recent camaraderie with a real Mandalorian. But there's nothing keeping you here and Tatooine is a real kriff hole anyways and you have always wanted to see the rest of the galaxy and it would be pretty cool to see it without a helmet obscuring like 95 percent of your view.

"Okay." You eventually shrug. His shoulders pull back and he looks surprised like he hadn't been expecting you to say yes. "I have stuff. Help me pack."

He nods and waits for you to lead the way.

&&&

There is a gentle simplicity in living with the Mandalorian. He is kind and courteous and quiet. But his posture is loud and he wears his emotions on his sleeve even if he would never, not ever, admit to any of them. But this means that you learn to gauge him quickly and know exactly how not to piss him off.

You had sold your ship for portions and a few credits and taken off into the sky. And straight to Nevarro?

Apparently he's a bounty hunter. He has a covert, he's told you as much, but you have never thought to ask him anymore about it. That's not your life anymore. But it is pretty amazing to know that some of your people have survived and that makes the pangs of regret stab through you. He was weird when he first told you, unsure of your reaction.

You don't think too much about it.

But he trusts you enough to leave you on your own and you trust yourself enough to not follow him and learn his secrets. It isn’t any of your business what he does so long as you have food and shelter.

According to your chronometer, you’ve been on Nevarro for about an hour before someone tries to approach you. Again, it’s gotta be that woman thing. Your companion had pointed out a few places for you to idly spend time before disappearing to meet with the leader of the bounty hunters, Greef Karga. And that’s fine, you don't want to be around him while he's doing business.

Anyways.

A hunter walks up to you and he just _stands_ there. Doesn't say anything, doesn't _do_ anything. You keep eating and then about ten seconds later you realise that this is supposed to be an intimidation tactic and you startle out a short laugh when you look up at him.

It isn't really all that funny. Except, he started off so serious and now he looks unsure of himself and his posture drops, but he tries so hard to look bigger than you. And sure, yeah, he's definitely taller. But he is _not_ bigger than you.

You turn towards him and rest your cheek in your hand.

"Is there something I can help you with?" You smile, still trying to contain your laughter.

"I saw you land down here with Mando."

 _Of course it's because of him_. You've heard people call your companion this before and you guess they aren't all wrong, but he has a name. Ah. He's probably never told anybody.

"So?" You ask and you can feel your smile slipping into an annoyed grimace.

"You sharing more than just bounties?"

You laugh again, louder and longer. And you honestly can't figure out why he asked that. Is he interested in you? Does he envy your station? Does he want to know more about the Mandalorian? Whatever the reason, this is very funny and you cover your mouth as if to cover your mirth. There's a lot of freedom that comes with not wearing a helmet all the time, but it also means there's no mystery in knowing you. And that's funny too, in a sad way. And you laugh to ignore the sadness. You find yourself bent over your lap, laughing freely.

"Go away." You gasp out between giggles. You think you're going to pee yourself. You wave him away, but he just stands there and that's funny too. He doesn't know how to listen. And you lean back and guffaw, hand resting on your chest.

And then he leans forward and moves to grab you. And that's not okay.

You stop laughing and grab him by the hand that reaches out to you and pull him down hard. He loses his footing and his chin comes down hard on the table. Good thing his mouth wasn't open, don't want any tongues wriggling about.

You look down at him and sigh. Always while you're eating.

"You need to learn how to read people, buddy." You say and you step over his body. He rolls onto his back with a loud groan of pain and watches you leave.

Mando is leaning against the wall of the cantina, and he gives you an amused look when you see him. You can tell he's smiling under that helm of his and you roll your eyes.

"Maybe you should try being nicer." He says and you wheel towards him in abject shock. He almost laughs. "A lot of these guys don't know how to approach a woman."

You scoff. "Who says women want to be approached."

He shrugs. _Fair point_ , his body says.

"C'mon, we've got bounties to kill."

You look at him. "Catch?"

He doesn't respond and he manages to keep his body pretty still too and that's annoying. You sigh and follow him back to the _Crest._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyooo! Thanks for reading! And a big thank you to [my beta](http://nolivingthingdroid.tumblr.com) for telling me that this is worth continuing (several weeks ago when I first started it)
> 
> Come and find me on tumblr: [dyn-djarin](http://dyn-djarin.tumblr.com)


End file.
